Supporting a Struggling Employee: What to Do and What Not To

Sooner or later, every manager notices that someone on the team is not okay. A dependable employee starts missing deadlines. Someone who used to joke in meetings goes silent. A person mentions, almost in passing, that they haven't been sleeping. During periods of change or crisis, these moments become more common, and managers often freeze because they don't know what they are allowed, or expected, to do.

This guide covers what managers should and shouldn't do when an employee seems to be struggling, the support systems that usually exist in U.S. workplaces, and what to do if you are worried about someone's safety. It is general information, not legal or medical advice. It is not a substitute for professional care, and if anyone is in crisis, they can call or text 988.

Your role: notice, ask, connect

A manager is not a therapist, and you don't need to be. Your role has three parts:

• Notice changes in how someone is working or interacting.
• Ask, privately and with care, how they are doing.
• Connect them to people and resources who can actually help, then follow up.

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline notes that warning signs deserve particular attention when the behavior is new, has increased, or seems related to a painful event, loss, or change. At work, that might look like a sudden drop in quality, withdrawal from colleagues, or comments that sound hopeless. These are reasons to check in, not conclusions about someone's health.

Opening the conversation

Choose a private setting and enough time that neither of you is rushing. Start with what you have observed at work and with genuine concern: "I've noticed you've seemed stretched the last few weeks, and I wanted to check in. How are you doing?"

Then listen. The 988 Lifeline's guidance on active listening is useful in any hard conversation:

• Acknowledge the speaker, even with a nod or a brief "uh huh."
• Respond verbally with questions or statements that clarify, and let the person finish before asking.
• Summarize what you hear, using phrases like "what I'm hearing is..."
• Look the part: keep eye contact, sit attentively, and stay focused.

You don't need to solve anything in the first conversation. Often the most useful thing you can say is "Thank you for telling me. Let's figure out what would help."

What managers should do

Point to the Employee Assistance Program. The U.S. Office of Personnel Management describes an EAP as "a voluntary, work-based program that offers free and confidential assessments, short-term counseling, referrals, and follow-up services to employees who have personal and/or work-related problems." OPM also notes that EAP counselors work in a consultative role with managers and supervisors. That description comes from the federal workforce, and EAP details vary by employer, so learn how yours works before you need it. The U.S. Surgeon General's 2022 Framework for Workplace Mental Health & Well-Being notes that EAPs "remain significantly underutilized," so naming yours, and how to reach it, is worthwhile.

Know that accommodations may be available. According to the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, people with mental health conditions may have a legal right to reasonable accommodations under the Americans with Disabilities Act. The EEOC gives examples such as altered break and work schedules (for instance, scheduling work around therapy appointments), quiet office space, changes in supervisory methods such as written instructions, specific shift assignments and permission to work from home. The EEOC notes that an employee may ask for an accommodation at any time. Bring in HR to handle the process.

Know that leave may be available. The U.S. Department of Labor explains that the Family and Medical Leave Act provides job-protected leave that can be used for mental health conditions that qualify as serious health conditions. Employees are eligible if they have worked for a covered employer for at least 12 months, have at least 1,250 hours of service in the 12 months before leave, and work at a location where the employer has at least 50 employees within 75 miles. Eligible employees can take up to 12 workweeks of leave in a 12-month period. An employer may require a certification from a health care provider, but the DOL notes that a diagnosis is not required. HR should own these determinations.

Use expert help for accommodations. The Job Accommodation Network (JAN) provides free, confidential technical assistance about job accommodations and the ADA, and maintains resources on mental health conditions.

Follow up. A short check-in a week later ("How are things going since we talked?") shows the first conversation wasn't a formality.

What managers shouldn't do

• Don't diagnose or speculate. Saying "I think you're depressed" can feel intrusive and may be wrong. Describe what you've seen at work instead.
• Don't pry into medical details. The EEOC explains that employers are only allowed to ask medical questions in limited situations, such as when an employee requests an accommodation, or on the job when there is objective evidence that the person may be unable to do the job or may pose a safety risk because of a condition. Leave those questions to HR.
• Don't share what you learn. The EEOC states that if an employee talks about a condition, the employer must keep the information confidential, even from co-workers. Tell only those who need to know, through HR.
• Don't retaliate or sideline. The EEOC notes that employers can't legally fire someone, or refuse to hire or promote them, because they asked for or need a reasonable accommodation.
• Don't promise secrecy if safety is at risk. The 988 Lifeline advises never keeping it a secret if someone tells you about a plan to hurt themselves.
• Don't drop all expectations. The EEOC notes that an employer does not have to excuse poor job performance, even if it was caused by a medical condition. The better path is to address performance alongside support and any accommodation, with HR involved.

If you're worried about someone's safety

If someone talks about suicide or seems to be in crisis, take it seriously and act. The 988 Lifeline's tips for helping someone include being direct and talking openly and matter-of-factly about suicide, being willing to listen, being non-judgmental, not being sworn to secrecy, and getting help from people or agencies specializing in crisis intervention. It also describes five action steps: Ask. Be there. Help keep them safe. Help them connect. Follow up.

The person can call or text 988 at any time, and you can contact 988 yourself to ask how to help. SAMHSA's 988 FAQ explains that 911 is the primary contact for emergencies involving medical emergencies, fire, crimes in progress, or other situations requiring immediate physical intervention. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.

For example, imagine a hypothetical team lead whose employee says, at the end of a one-on-one, "Sometimes I don't see the point of any of this anymore." The lead doesn't change the subject. They ask directly whether the person is thinking about suicide, listen without judgment, stay with them, and help them call or text 988 together. Afterward, the lead contacts HR and the EAP for guidance, and checks in the next day.

Take care of yourself, too

Supporting someone through a hard time can stir up your own emotions. The 988 Lifeline encourages people helping others to reach out for support themselves. Many EAPs offer manager consultations, and talking it through with HR or your own manager, without sharing unnecessary details, can help you respond well.

Key takeaways

• Your role is to notice, ask privately, connect the person to help and follow up, not to diagnose.
• Know your EAP, and mention it by name.
• Accommodations under the ADA and leave under the FMLA may be available; involve HR.
• Keep anything an employee shares confidential, and don't ask medical questions yourself.
• If safety is at risk, don't keep it secret; call or text 988, and call 911 for immediate danger.

Sources

• U.S. Office of Personnel Management, What is an Employee Assistance Program (EAP)?
• U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, Depression, PTSD, & Other Mental Health Conditions in the Workplace: Your Legal Rights (December 12, 2016)
• U.S. Department of Labor, Fact Sheet #28O: Mental Health Conditions and the FMLA (May 2022)
• Job Accommodation Network, Mental Health Conditions
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, Help Someone Else
• SAMHSA, 988 Frequently Asked Questions
• U.S. Surgeon General, Framework for Workplace Mental Health & Well-Being (2022)